I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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