Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
we should paint friendship bongs
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
