Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
