As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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