we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
