he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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