I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
