i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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