You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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