Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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