So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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