At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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