I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Randomize
