he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
