so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
