Swine flu. Run for my life!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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