I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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