So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
