Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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