You can't motorboat a personality
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
