i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
