my sisters under your porch take her home
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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