dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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