I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
