We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
