uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
