He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
