I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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