you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
