btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
