get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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