I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
