xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
