We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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