i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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