I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
