I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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