dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize