Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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