Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
