thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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