I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
