Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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