I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
