I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
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