I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
