It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
