you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
you made out with another girl for some wings
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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