Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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