I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Someone signed my nipple.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
