The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
