why didn't you poke me back
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
