so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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