One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
